Brilliant ways to succeeding with your new year resolutions!

If you have put some time and thought into setting up some goals for the coming year, you really want to maximise your chance of success. Below are some key tips to help you stay on track on get what you want from 2020!

Be flexible
When we first write our resolutions, we do it from a place of hope and positivity - which is great. The thing is though that in doing so we sometimes miss the more practical day to day elements that might get in our way. Also, plans change and we might need to fit our goals around events we hadn’t anticipated. For example that new year eating regime might become a whole lot trickier if you suddenly have to go away for work for a week and don’t have full control of when and where you eat.
The trick here is to be flexible. Trying to rigidly stick to a plan that doesn’t fit your new circumstances means it would probably come unstuck. By the same token, trying to ignore the bits that don’t fit won’t work either. Instead, as soon as you know how things are changing, re-assess your goal and determine if it is still viable - does the timescale need to shift? Do you need to set some new markers? Once you have done this look at what you need to change to make your strategy - the way you achieve it - work in the new situation. By doing both of these things you will have amended your goal to fit into your real life - and that will give you the best chance of success.

One strike doesn’t mean you are out
It isn’t unusual when we are changing our habits (and anything we have done many times over forms some sort of habit) that there may be couple of times where our actions or decisions don’t fall into line. All of a sudden we feel we have blown our plan out of the water. There’s two different paths in front of you - jack it in (wrong choice!), or accept that there was a slip up and get back on the horse as soon as it is sensible to do so. For most that will be the next day, if you have a will of iron it may be as soon as you recognise the slip up.
It is really important to allow yourself to learn from what led to the derailment. Then you need to either put something in place that means it won’t happen again or, alternatively, give yourself a set number of ‘free passes’ providing you stick to your plans the rest of the time.
Remember, it is far better to slip up and then get back on it, than it is to fall at the first hurdle.

Reward yourself
There’s something odd that’s often built into a drive on self improvement and that’s the idea that it has to be tough/ a struggle/ unpleasant in some way. Now I’m not saying it is necessarily all going to be a walk in the park but if we think about it, we can probably make it more enjoyable.
The key here is to do with the reward centre of our brain. Its almost certain that the behaviour we are changing will have had some kind of reward linked to it (even if it was buried deep down). We need to recognise what that was and make sure we replace it with something equally or more valuable. Book that massage, go see that movie, arrange your catch up with friends. It is really important that you feel rewarded for your efforts, just do it in a way that supports you and your goals.

Build in positive associations
You might notice that most things we are trying to do that are ‘good’ for us have their reward after the event. Sometimes a long time after. The exercise buzz comes after the work out. The relief of waking up without a hangover comes the next day. The sense of achievement you feel when you fit into those old jeans comes weeks after you ditched the donut.
However, many of the things that we might want to give up have their reward at the time we are doing them and the negative impact after, again sometimes way after. Eating that cream cake is amazing at the time, but may feel regrettable after. Getting completely sozzled can feel great fun in the moment, not so much the next day. Picking up that pack of cigarettes - quick relief, long term pain?
What does this mean then for those of us that are wanting to change? Essentially we need to find ways to bring the feel good factor into our new behaviours at the time we are doing them - not just after. If you think about it, its easier to keep doing something we love. How do we do it then? It is all about building in positive associations. In plain English that’s about linking a positive thought or feeling up with something we are doing. Over time, as soon as we think about doing it it triggers pro-active emotions and actions. Essentially we need to recognise what feels good to us. It will be different for different people, but the types of things that tend to work are;
looking good - spend a little extra on that new gym kit, if you feel a million dollars it it, each time you put it on, you’ll already feel good
A bit of luxury - don’t just go to the cheapest nearest gym, go to one that feels like a treat/ has a great sauna/ is in a nice area. Feeling good about going will feel spur you on. If its work plans, buy a lovely new note book and a stylish pen to go with it. For some that idea of luxury can feel really good.
Do good factor - If you are buoyed up by helping others, put this into the mix. Buy ethically, use your savings from not smoking to pay yourself for a day of volunteering, get involved in a charity with friends, get sponsored for that 5k. Feeling as though your goals are contributing to the world at large can be very fulfilling.
Saving & splurging - If your new habit means you save money, put it toward something you really want - a trip away, some new clothes, something for your home. If you can mentally see the rewards building up, this will spur you on each time.
Social - if its people that drive you, get others involved. The prospect of meeting others can be enough to make you look forward to doing something. Just remember, there will be times they can’t make it, so build this into your expectations.
Essentially making something feel good at the time and have a long term pay off is a sure fire way to keep us at it!

Be brave, its ok to be somebody different
Funnily enough, even though there’s often an idea in our minds of the kind of person we want to be, it can feel strangely cringey allowing ourselves to be it. Almost embarrassing that we really believe a person like us can actually be a person like that. But you know what, you can, you are allowed to, you have free license to be whoever you want to be. You know what else, it won’t annihilate all the good things you already are! Being sober, won’t stop you being a good talker. Being fitter won’t turn you into a naval gazer. Being successful won’t send you up your own *rse! Why? Because you are you. You’ll have worked for it. You’ve experienced the other side. You have humility!
Write down all those hidden ideas and beliefs that may somehow have been stopping you, some might be from way back when. Put them on the table and ask yourself if they are still valid, if you really still believe them at all. You may be surprised just how freeing it is when you finally allow yourself to be the person you want to be.

If you’d like some help in working through things and sticking to your goals this year, check out my New Year life coaching and career coaching packages! £50 off until the 6th of Jan with code NEW50! What are you waiting for? Good luck with your new year goals!!