Rachel Coffey Coaching

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5 ways to promote and protect your mental health

We don’t always notice when we aren’t feeling on top form mentally and if we do, we don’t always want to admit it. Though it can be tempting to try to ignore it, finding ways of supporting our own mental wellbeing can prevent more serious problems developing down the line. In recognition of World Mental Health day, here are five ways to help us all maintain positive mental health;

Recognise the difference between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ stress

Stress isn’t always a bad thing, it can spur us on and help us achieve. It is really important though to recognise when that feeling of having to push through tips over into negative stress. It might be easier to think of it as the difference between performing well under pressure versus an all consuming sense of overwhelm. Both types of stress tend to increase our adrenaline, it is how that is directed that changes things. Positive stress usually has a sense of excitement and focus to it - along with a vision of things coming together at the end. Negative stress however, often feels heavy and worrying, with an underlying concern or fear that things could go horribly wrong. If you are experiencing signs of negative stress - repeatedly not sleeping, intrusive thoughts, emotional shut down or extremes of emotion, then it is probably time to do something about it.

Taking a break can improve both productivity and creativity

When we have a lot on but don’t seem to be getting far, it might simply be time to take a break. This can seem counter-intuitive and often carries fears of negative perceptions by those around us. It is time to be strong though! Stop being a sheep and understand that for our minds to function at their best, we need space and the freedom of thought to allow us to prioritise, strategise and innovate. If you have been banging your head against a brick wall with a never ending to do list or desperately trying to come up with an idea, stop. Give yourself a change of scenery, your brain the opportunity to catch up and you a chance to breathe. It might be a cup of tea, a short walk or a trip to the gym on a frustratingly pressurised day. If you are working on a bigger project, it might be a day or two away. Taking your mind elsewhere will free it up and allow you to return with a fresh perspective and a whole new level of engagement.

Change happens easily, it is staying the same that is hard

All of us at some point have found ourselves in a situation or frame of mind that we don’t want to be in. What is really surprising is just how hard people work to try to keep themselves there. The thinking, of course, is to do with the idea of just ‘hanging on in there’, waiting for things to get easier. Otherwise, desperately treading water in an effort to stay in the same place and not get washed away with the tide. But trying to stay in a place we don’t want to be in is both exhausting and soul destroying. The first thing we need to do is accept that, even if we ourselves aren’t able to see it at the time, there is a better way to be and a way to get there. Then we need to reach out for help. Although it may take more than one attempt, focussing on what we do want rather than what we don’t, has the power to change everything - and quickly.

The way we speak to ourselves matters

My mum always used to say that people who speak to themselves are crazy. Well if that’s the case, we are all ‘nutters’. We all speak to ourselves, whether it is out loud or in our minds, we all do it. And what we say really matters. Often, we’d never speak to anyone the way we talk to ourselves! Insults, doubts, negativity “Blimey, you’re fat”… “Gosh you look old”… “You’re gonna mess this up!”..“I don’t think they like you.” Not the sort of thing you’d want to hear from your best friend, and yet, it is the sort of thing we say to ourselves all the time. The issue here is that it has a direct impact on how we feel, how we think, the decisions we make and the way we behave as a result. First things first, we need to catch ourselves in action. Notice when that negative-speak creeps in. Then we need to stop and ask ourselves what the purpose of it is and at that point we need to re-phrase it into something positive. Then make a decision and act upon it. “Gosh you look old” “- actually, no, you look tired. Yes, I am tired. Ok, I’m going to take it easy, have an early night tonight and feel better in the morning.” All of a sudden a self-insult about your looks has transformed into a self-caring decision that will allow you to feel better.

Talk

Talking about how we feel, connecting with others, sharing our thoughts are basic human needs. In days gone by people had to talk to get what they wanted, but now we can click away a day without having to speak to anyone. It isn’t that connecting digitally doesn’t have its place, it does. But it doesn’t replace talking, more importantly, it doesn’t take the place of knowing we are being heard. Whether it is a friend, a colleague or a professional, if you know you aren’t in a good place, the best thing you can do is reach out and speak with someone. It widens our perspective, allows us to feel valued and lets us feel more human again.